Help, I am engaged to a wonderful man that just got the final divorce papers last month. Now his ex-wife found out about me, and she is refusing to let him get the children. This man and I were together about 3 years ago and were planning to get married then, but cold feet and being unsure of each other caused us to call it off. Now we are happy together and the problem is the ex-wife. She says as long as I am in the picture he will not get the kids. In the divorce neither of them can have night guests while having the children, which means that I will not be able to stay with him, while he has the children. Angel, I need to know if I should call the whole thing off, so he can have his children? I wouldn’t want to be the person that stood in the way of him seeing his children.

Love him or leave him.

Dear Love him or leave him:

Situations like this always hurt the children more than it does the parents. I am sure the divorce papers have liberal visitation rights, and the no over night guests with the children present, is in my mind, good for the protection of them.

However, in this case, the ex wife wants to use it as a wedge to keep you and your fiancée apart. Once you are married the "guest" rule will not apply to you and she cannot refuse him court given visitation rights.

I you love him and are willing to put up with the headaches that she is sure to cause, by all means, love him, marry him and be happy.