I was married for 3 years, divorced for two when I met the man I am living with at present (we've been together for almost 2 years now). He has two children from a previous marriage and I have one child of my own. Since we have been together, he has only been employed for 1/3 of the time while I have a stable, fairly well paying job of 6 years. Since we have been together, I have been carrying most of the bulk when it comes to financial matters. Because of the extra financial burden of himself and his two children, I have been lacking when it comes to buying for myself and my own child. Not just financially, but emotionally, I'm drained. Trying to treat the children fairly, trying not to blame them for needing so much (I find myself doing that sometimes)... I feel as if I'm sacrificing my own needs....but, for what? He and I get along, as long as financial matters don't get in the way, but I feel as if he has come to take it for granted that I would take care of him and his two children. I feel his love (for some reason), and I've stayed this long, just hoping...hoping that somehow things will get better, but..they haven't. I feel as if he's holding me back, as if I'm moving in reverse rather than forward. I'm seriously considering ending this relationship, although I have reservations because I don't quite like the thought that the children may be hurt (they seem to get along), and despite ups and downs, we have bonded in some ways over the years. I'm mentioning this to you because....honestly, I'm too embarrassed to bring this up with anyone (even my closest friend). Sometimes I look at myself and my situation from a second-party point of view, and I feel as if I'm so stupid for letting this go on. I'm sorry for the length of this letter, but...a lot HAS happened over the past 2 years.

Don't look at yourself as being stupid, but look at what is going on as a learning experience. The kid's will all do fine no matter what you decide. As long as you work and pay the bills and allow him to take you for granted, nothing will change. That look that you take from a second party point of view is telling you something...listen to it.

Insist that he work a full time job and help with the bills and family expenses or move out...and stick to your guns. If you don't, you will end up supporting him and his kids for the rest of your life.