My question might be a little strong, but I hope you could give me some hints. I have been dating a woman for over 5 months. She had been in a 5 year relationship before ours in which she was abused, both physically and emotionally. This man forced himself on her on several occasions and submitted her to all sorts of outlandish sexual acts. Now this is my dilemma: though she was candid with me about her past and I reassured her that I understood, I don't know how I feel about the events now. Perhaps she should not have told me about what went on, I find myself having this feeling on my chest that I am dating a "damaged" or "unclean" woman. I know this is immaturity on my part, but I am agonizing about this and am on the verge of breaking up with her. She was young and vulnerable when these events took place; today she tells me she would not allow the events to occur again. As you can see, I am a very conservative man, and the thoughts of the things that went on trouble me. She is a terrific woman in all other ways but somehow the knowledge of what went on hinders me. Please give me your thoughts on this! Thanks!

She has obviously come to terms with what happened to her with this other man and has learned to live with it. That all happened before she met you and she cares enough for you to be honest about her past.

If you love her that much, I suggest counseling to help you accept her past and put it behind you as she has, or be honest with her in that you can't live with it and let her go. I doubt that it has been easy for her and she doesn't deserve to be with someone that can't accept her the way she is now.

She isn't damaged or unclean. She made some mistakes, and has grown to be the terrific woman that you know now. Accept her the way she is now or let her go find someone that can.