My problem might be seen as a little boring. Anyway here goes...

I basically love relatives and like to have fun with everyone around. Recently, my husband's brother and wife moved to our city and we invited them to stay at our place, till they settle down. However, both my brother-in-law and co sister-in-law turned out to be very unfriendly. (My husband was working out of town those days and I was all alone at home, with my 18 month old baby). They would stay cooped up in the room we gave them, and would not even try to get to know me or be friendly with me. I would try to call them for shopping, take them for parties (thrown by my friends) etc. but they continued their unfriendly behavior. My sister-in-law would always refuse to come out with me for anything, when I would invite her. They would not offer any help on their own, unless we expressly asked them for something. This continued for more than 4 months. Ultimately, as I couldn't bear the uncomfortable situation anymore in my own house, my husband and I asked them to leave. Now, I want to know if I should continue to be polite to them and keep up appearances for the sake of family, or just cut off relations, as they don't seem to be very enthusiastic about being friends with me or my husband. Also, even though we suggested having a heart-to-heart chat about the tense atmosphere and whether they had any problems with us, they did not take up the offer of talks (even though my guy is a psychiatrist). I am wondering what their problem is?

Their current behavior is strange too. They are still unfriendly with both of us, but they don't mind coming with us on family outings with my parents-in-law. I however cannot keep up a facade and I feel such family outings are a waste of time, if one is not comfortable with a member of the family. I have suggested that my parents-in-law have separate outings with us and with them. My point is that even though I tried to be friendly, they did not make the same effort, hence I don't want to spend any more of my valuable time with people who are ungrateful. Am I being petty? Should I grow out of it and not bear a grudge?

I don't believe you are being petty, but why penalize the parent-in-laws for their behavior. You said they "come with you" to family outings. From now on, tell them that you will driving to these outings by yourselves and stick to that. If things get uncomfortable, you can leave early. Separate outings would maybe solve the problem for you, but don't leave it up to them to plan everything. Invite the parents-in-law to your house for dinner or out for an evening so that they can spend comfortable time with you and your child.

Don't give up on your brother-in-law and his wife. You don't have to spend all of your time with them, but let them know that you are there for them if they want to talk about whatever is bothering them.

Don't bear a grudge... there is obviously something going on with them that they don't feel comfortable talking about right now. Stay open and friendly as much as you can towards them and perhaps one day they will open up and the fences can be mended. You won't be sorry.