I'm sorry but I don't know what to do now. I blame myself for doing things that has affected other people's lives. I blame myself for loving them and letting go of them. It seems that when I've let go of them their lives seems to be at worst. Although I know that it is also their choice but still it is bugging my mind that at a certain point I might have contributed to why they behave like that. Because we all know that special feelings will contribute a great depression if we've accepted already that we care or love that person. Now I'm confused if I should love again. It affected also my relationship with my friends because of that I am sad today. I'm also afraid to look at their eyes because they will see how sad I am and they will question me and I can't explain it to them because it is hard. It's really difficult to manipulate my feelings. I'm very serious now. Even if I've tried hard I only feel saddened because I don't see or think what they are thinking because I'm lost or I'm much aware that I have problems. Thanks for the help.

You need more help than I can give you. You need to learn that you shouldn't have to manipulate your feelings for other people, and that you aren't responsible for their actions.

Find a therapist that can help you get your self-esteem back and help you learn to be yourself. You can't look at others and know what they are thinking or blame yourself for problems that they are going through.

You have taken the first step by admitting that you have problems. The next step is getting help for yourself. Loving people does not cause depression and you will learn that with help. When you learn to love and accept yourself for what you are, you will be able to love and care for others without the guilt.