Hi, Angel. I was looking at your site and really like the advice that you give, and I could really use some now. I am a 27-year-old man, and I've recently moved in with my girlfriend (also 27). She was recently (early last year) separated from her husband of five years (they haven't formally divorced yet). I was aware of the fact that she was married right from the very beginning of our relationship, and I even met him a few times in the early stages of our relationship. My problem is that at this point in the relationship, every time I hear his name, or see a picture of the two of them together, or think about them together, I get a very strange, but very strong feeling that I can only describe as jealousy. I know that it's completely irrational. I know that before we knew each other, both of us had our own lives that had nothing to do with one another. I know that she has moved past her feelings for him, and I don't suspect at all that anything would ever happen between them again. But even though I know these things, I can't seem to stop these feelings. And it's especially difficult because of this - as I'm feeling the feelings, I know they're irrational, but I can't stop feeling them. Help me, please. Is it possible that part of the reason is that I've moved into the house that they shared, using the same furniture, etc. that was theirs? Is this common, or am I just weird?
Thanks in advance.

Have you talked openly to her about your feelings?

I am not a professional counselor, but it could be that because she isn't divorced yet, in the back of your mind living with her in the same place that they lived together is the problem.

Talk to her about how you feel and if you are planning a life relationship with her, then perhaps the two of you should look for other housing.

The fact that they have been separated for that long and that the two of you are living together makes me wonder why she hasn't gotten the divorce yet. That could be an underlying problem for you too.

Your not weird...I'm sure that your feelings are valid and if you continue to have them, the best suggestion would be counseling to help you understand them.