I have met a wonderful man who has recently separated and is in the process of divorce. Reason: discovered about his wife's multiple affairs with both men and women. We have been seeing each other for about 8 month and feel he is the one. I have met most of his family and continued to be pleasantly surprised about the heart and spirit of this individual who I have come to love deeply. He is a very good person. He has children which is fine by me. They are beautiful, just like him. I feel torn because I am happy I found such a wonderful person but feel so weighted by all his problems and by the painful experience of the divorce. I know the right thing to do is to take a break and start back up after everything is final. In fact, I think of telling him this every day. He is constantly being pulled in various directions and has so many demands. I find myself always patiently waiting around for him to spend time with me. I feel all of this is affecting our relationship.

I'm trying to cope and be understanding especially when it comes to his kids, But I am starting to feel second to everything else. He asks me to be patient and that things will get better once things are final, but it just seems like an eternity. What should I do? I'm afraid that if I tell him that I want to take a break till things are worked out that I will lose him.

His divorce isn't final yet and with children being involved, it's understandable that he would feel pulled in different directions.

If you really care that much for him, continue to be his friend and be patient. To push him into a permanent relationship before he is ready would not give you what you are looking for.

Divorces can be long and painful and it takes time to put things into perspective before they feel that they are ready to trust again and be totally committed to another. If you don't feel that you can be a friend and wait until he is ready to take things a step further, then by all means tell him now.

He sounds like a wonderful man and worth waiting for.