I am a 35 year old man, and am living with an older woman. She is the love of my life. I can't imagine my life without her. I worked in the computer field for about four years. The money was good and I had what I thought was an upwardly mobile job. (I met her when I worked there.) Anyway, we moved in together (she owns the house) and all was fine. About 7 months later, I got laid off my job. To make a long story short, I have had a lot of professional problems and money has been tight. She (my girlfriend) seems to have lost interest in me sexually and in pretty much every other way. I have even asked her if she wants me to move out. She says she still loves me, but won't tell me what the problem is. I don't want to leave, but if things don't change, I feel I have to. What should I do?

It could be that your professional problems are affecting you more than you know. I know it's sometimes hard to not to let the loss of income or other problems change your attitude about life in general and your reactions can be a big turn off for a partner.

The first thing to look at is yourself to see if you have changed. Is your self-esteem low because of the job loss? Are you actively seeking new employment?

The computer field is very large these days and there are many jobs available. Perhaps your employer that laid you off would give you a letter of recommendation.

Secondly and probably most importantly is communication with her. Ask her .. tell her that you know you have professional problems and are working on them. Ask her if maybe you have changed and ask what you both can do to make things better. If she still clams up and won't talk to you, tell her how much she means to you and suggest counseling to get back what you had together.

If none of this works for your relationship, it is probably time to look for other arrangements.