I have been separated from my husband for 8 years already. We have two children, a boy and a girl, ten years old. He has been living with another girl already and has three children with her. We are still married because we never got a divorced. He does not visit often and I can understand, things get pretty expensive and besides I think that it is hard on his other children since he has spent more time with them than he has with our children. My problem is that he has always told me that he still loves me and wants to get back together but I tell him that it will be to difficult because he already started his own life. I have not been involved with anyone else but him but I do not think that it is because I still have hopes of getting back together. Around two years ago I told him that the only way I would consider getting back together with him was if this lady he is living with ever left him and left the children behind also. Well less than a year ago she left with another guy and left the children with him. He called me and wanted to get back together but I told him that I did not want to destroy his life. I did not want him to quit his job and then later find out that things did not work out between us. I want what is best for him but I really do not want to get back together because I truly love someone else and it is someone that No I am not involved with and he does not know that I have feeling for him. Also he is already married, has no children and we are the best of friends. He loves my children and always remembers them on special occasions. I am going and on but the bottom line is that every time my husband visits he expects for me to have a relationship with him but I tell him it is not right that he should be faithful to the mother of his other children. They are back together. He tells me that since we are still married it is not wrong, but I feel it is wrong, so I don't give in to him. Plus my heart belongs to someone else even though I have no hopes where he is concerned.

What a tangled web you have.

My first suggestion is to get the divorce and go on with your life. He has the best of both worlds…two families. You are more worried about him and his life than you are about yourself and your children.

You and the other man are best of friends, and you need to keep it that way, and spend your time with activities that will allow you to meet other people.

Forget about what your husband is feeling and forget about your romantic notions toward your married friend.

Keeping yourself involved in other activities will allow you to meet new people, and when you least expect it - that special someone will be there - without a wife somewhere.