I have been with my husband for almost 2 years and we have a good marriage. We were able to get physical custody of his 9-year-old daughter last September. We have been under a lot of pressure from his ex and it is taking a toll on our relationship.

We are in family therapy with this child due to her problems and the way her mother talks to her and the terrible things she tells her about her father and me. This woman is 44 and has never held a job for more then 6 months. She has lived with at least four men in the last 3 years. She was ordered by the courts to pay child support and we have not gotten any since April. She dragged us into court in November and we are to go back in September for a lie she has told. This woman has some serious mental problems and I am afraid of how far she will go to hurt my husband. Her own twin sister has told us to take her threats to heart, as she has been known to make good on them. I love my husband and stepdaughter and I know this child loves her mom. I try hard not to let this child see or hear anything negative about her mom and I try to be nice to her when she is here to pick up the child, but she does not care and says hateful and bad things in front of her.

I need to know if anyone has any suggestions as to how we can deal with this vengeful woman. I also need to say that I did not come between her and my husband. I met him a year after they were separated, so she has no reason to hate me like she shows.

By all means, continue the family therapy and show this letter to the counselor and your attorney.

Start keeping a log of all the threats and bad things that she does and try to get her sister to put something in writing for you.

This woman needs some anger management and parenting counseling.

If this behavior continues and you can prove it, the courts can discontinue her visitation until she completes counseling. They can also enforce the child support ruling.

I know this all sounds harsh, but until something is done, she will continue harassing you and making life miserable for all of you.