Hi I'm a junior in school and for the last two years I have been going with a guy I really and truly love on and off. Recently we broke up again and this time I want it to be for real. No getting back together again a few months. It's not because I stopped loving him. On the contrary, it's because I started loving him to much. I was giving too much to him, my time, giving up my beliefs for him and almost giving up my virginity.

I swore I would stay a virgin till marriage and I knew that if I stayed with him much longer that the temptation would be too strong. But don't think it was all physical, not at all!!!! Actually, it only became that way in the last few months we were together. He and I are soul mates and best friends. We know everything about each other and can talk about anything. It's really hard for us to go for more than a few days without talking.

Anyway, getting to the point of the letter, since we have broken up, we are trying to get over each other but it's not working. Every time I talk to him he still says he loves me and I know we'll always love each other, but I think it's time to move on and just love as friends. Its' really really hard though. We've tried the not talking thing and we've tried the not seeing each other thing, but none of it ever works. We still love each other so much and need each other so much (he's the only one that completely understands me) but it's unhealthy. I think he should find a girl his own age (he's in college) and get on with his life. He's constantly trying to manipulate me into going back out with him though, it's so hard because I really want to but I know it would only hurt us in the end. I would be compromising my beliefs and morals and he would have to bend to my ways of thinking and we'd both start resenting each other and end up miserable.

I don't know what to do or where to go from here. I still want him in my life, but I don't know where to place him relationship wise.

Please help!!!

Be totally honest with him and tell him exactly what you have told me.

Tell him that you love him, but want it to be just as friends for now. If he really loves you, he won't try to compromise your beliefs or try to manipulate you into going back into a relationship that you are uncomfortable with right now.

You still have 2 years of high school to finish then possibly college. Don't give up everything you want and believe in for him.

Soul mates and best friends respect each other's decisions and don't try to manipulate them into doing something that you aren't ready for. If he can't accept that and put your relationship on hold and remain friends, then perhaps he isn't the friend you think he is.