Alcoholism is a deadly disease that affects everyone close to the drinker just as friends and family of narcotics abusers are also affected.

For those of you who have an abuser close to you, you either have in the past or are now feeling helpless, lost, and most likely have lost your self-esteem.

The main point of this special is to let you know that there is help. Thanks to a wonderful organization called Alcoholics Anonymous, you can learn to regain your self-esteem and take control of your life. At the bottom you will find phone numbers for the different organizations that offer meetings with help and support.

Alcoholism is a disease, and it is treatable, but when that person is in denial (refuses to admit that there is a problem), you have to learn that you cannot do it for them. When you "do" for the alcoholic, it is called enabling. Calling them in sick at work and making excuses for them only lets them know that their behavior is okay and instead of helping them, you are really contributing to the problem.

The main thing to remember is that you can't change them, but you CAN change yourself. It takes time and work, but with the love and support of the people in these organizations, it can be done.

Following the Twelve Step Program and learning to live the serenity prayer will give you the courage to overcome your addiction and give you a new direction in life.

Healing your human relationships, both past and present is critical to your recovery. To make this work you must choose a recovery family. This can be a support group, a Twelve Step group or a church community, but you need a new, healthy chosen family.

Step one is admitting that we are powerless over our dependencies and that our lives have become unmanageable. The admission of powerlessness over an addiction will become the foundation for the strength to eventually overcome the dependency.

(Step one is significant because it represents the acknowledgement that there is a problem - it is the end of denial that opens the door to possible recovery.)

Step two is coming to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Once admitting a problem the next step is to seek a new source of strength or Power to take charge for us and make us well and whole again. (Our best thinking is what leads us to the need for step one.)

Step three is making the decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood him.

(Steps one through three are called the foundation steps because they are the foundation upon which the rest of the process is built.)

Step four is making a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Step five is admitting to God, ourselves, and another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.

Step six is being entirely ready to have God remove all the defects of character.

Step seven is humbly asking Him to remove our shortcomings.

Step eight is making a list of all persons that we have harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all.

Step nine is to make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Step ten is to continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong we promptly admit it.

Step eleven: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out.

Step twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

(Steps ten through twelve are called maintenance steps - and are what we do on a daily basis to sustain our recovery.)

Whether you are the addict, or not, this recovery program, when worked with your support group really works. It gives us back our self-esteem, our lives, and gives us the courage to accept the things that we cannot change, and gives us the ability to make healthy decisions about our loved ones and ourselves.

Alcoholism is not curable - but is arrestable - if I don't drink, I can't get drunk !

Alcoholism is not having a drinking problem, but a thinking problem. AA offers a new way of thinking that is successful because it is based on a new outlook on life. I've never met an alcoholic who has had a problem drinking.

One of the best places that I have found to start if you have second thoughts about admitting weaknesses face to face with another can be found at www.alcoholismhelp.com. There is a wealth of information on all types of addictions, articles for the addict and for their families and friends. The also have a wonderful chat room with regular 12 step and non-12 step meetings and general chat rooms to discuss anything you want. The regulars in the chat rooms are very understanding, loving and supportive.

They have a "coffee shop" where you can post messages and read the ones posted by others. Another page is devoted to stories told by them about their lives. Reading these stories will help you realize that you are not alone, that many others have been or are going through the same things that you are.

It's a great way to talk anonymously to others about your questions and concerns. "Another Empty Bottle" does not supply and is not a replacement for professional help, but it is a wonderful place to start and keep coming back to during your recovery.

Some Tips For the Family - In Coping With an Alcoholic Member

1. Learn all you can about alcoholism.
2. Examine your own feelings and attitudes regarding drinking, drunkenness and alcoholism.
3. Accept alcoholism as an illness; but keep in mind it is treatable.
4. Seek out the resources: mental health clinics and centers, family therapists, clergymen, doctors and social workers who are knowledgeable about alcoholism, alcoholism councils and clinics, AA, Alanon and Alateen in your local community. Don't let pride interfere in your search for help for you and your family. Remember you are not alone.
5. Play it straight with your children. Don't try to lean on them to fill your unmet needs and, above all, do not allow your alcoholic or yourself to get them in the middle of your arguments.
6. Use the resources, when you locate them, for your own problems and not for the alcoholic's problems. Remember the only person you can change is yourself.
7. Keep your cool - this problem did not develop overnight and it is not going to disappear overnight.
8. Change is always difficult, so don't get discouraged if you backslide occasionally or if your alcoholic does.
9. All of this implies a lot of conscious effort and work on your part, but the ultimate rewards far outweigh the effort. Keep in mind you are not alone. There is hope and there probably is help in your local community.